(3) A Dead Loss
Translate: Sae
Regarding the question of who was to be the first to go, the two still took a traditional approach and that was with a game of—rock, paper, scissors.
Facts have proven that when it came to aspects involving this game, Gu Hai was truly no match for Bai Luoyin. While others relied on luck, Bai Luoyin was an expert in utilizing psychological tactics. He essentially needed only to quickly glance at Gu Hai in order to know with certainty what he would choose.
Thus, the role of the proper groom was Bai Luoyin’s and the bride was naturally Gu Hai.
Gu Hai obediently leaned against the wall and assumed a 90-degree position with Bai Luoyin standing behind him, taking out the fully armed Xiao Yin Zi before he started on the road to conquest.
With just a small ‘thrust’, a peal of rowdy jeers sounded.
Bai Luoyin searched around, trying to sense things out until he eventually discovered that the thing fastened to Gu Hai’s behind was not completely hard to the touch. However, in order to ‘penetrate’ it was not an easy feat. Although the material used to make the thing was indistinguishable, there was a considerably strong elasticity feel that required a tremendous amount of strength to even penetrate through. Within seconds of bouncing back, the material returned to its original state and striking at it again would demand the same amount of strength.
He concluded that for this ‘penetration’ to be successful, both strength and speed were necessary.
Once he realized this trick, Bai Luoyin began to launch a bold and powerful incursion. With every strike, the team of groomsmen followed after with energetic roars that terrified Yan Yajing who stood to the side. Not to mention how restricted the scene was, seeing the man who she had been secretly in love with for five years in a moment where he was controlled was nonetheless surprising.
“You forgot to shout out the catchphrase,” Yang Meng reminded.
Bai Luoyin stopped, perspiring profusely as he turned to look at Yang Meng. “Shout what catchphrase?”
You Qi reminded indistinctly from behind the video camera, “That…is it…is it in yet…”
Suddenly realizing that Bai Luoyin once again carried his gun into battle only to notice that the area he had previously captured was now completely sealed off. He was going insane! What the hell is this thing made out of? How could it become so hard again after I only said a couple of words?
Without any other choice, Bai Luoyin could only start anew.
Once again, it was a burst of strong oscillating movements with his waist. This time, Bai Luoyin remembered the rules and frequently asked Gu Hai: “Is it in yet?”
Fortunately, Gu Hai’s waist was sturdy. If it was any other person, they would have been slammed into the wall a long time ago. He especially wanted to remind Bai Luoyin, your method is wrong…not only does it exhaust your energy, but it is also ineffective. You need to find the correct technique! Of course, Gu Hai would not leak out such words since if he actually let Bai Luoyin become enlightened, his only advantageous domain would be automatically forfeit.
Thus, Gu Hai could only shout: “Use all your strength to thrust harder!”
Unexpectedly, the normally strict Liu Chong spoke. “You left out a word in the beginning.”
“That’s right, add that word!”
As a result, Gu Hai, who was ordinarily impressive and looked disdainfully at all living things, had no choice at this moment but to lightly part his lips under those seven people high-pressure gazes. “Laogong…thrust harder!”
Bai Luoyin pfft-ed and left out a joyful laugh, wasting all his previous efforts. Afterward, he pulled at his own head. Why are you so useless? He called you ‘laogong’ and you’re so pleased you become like this?
“How much switching to another person?” Tong Zhe said casually, scratching his nose. “I can see that you’re terrible at this!”
Bai Luoyin’s face darkened immediately, “Why don’t you give it a try?”
If you can strike it until there’s a crack, I will truly admire you!
Tong Zhe was not in the least careless. “Fine, I’ll try.”
However, just when he was behind Gu Hai, Bai Luoyin realized something and quickly shoved Tong Zhe to the side. “Why the hell should I let you try? What does this have to do with you, huh? I almost fell into your trap!!”
After that, the brave fight went on and the strength he employed was even more fierce—so fierce that Gu Hai’s waist was nearly numb from all the attacks. Although he was verbally shouting: ‘laogong, thrust harder’, mentally, he thought: Just take it easy! Don’t sprain your waist!
After enduring for another twenty minutes, Bai Luoyin finally withdrew his solider.
Now, it was Gu Hai’s time.
Everyone held their breath with rapt attention as they stared single-minded at Gu Hai. They were unaware of what channel they had heard the rumor from, but it was said that Gu Hai’s talent in this aspect was remarkably strong. This game was devised for today solely to confirm whether or not the rumor was true.
The posture that Gu Hai’s exercised declared his controlling right over their sex life.
Bai Luoyin employed the same posture that Gu Hai had previously enacted as he pressed both of his hands on the wall and raised his waist slightly—the shape of his perfectly round butt was exposed before everyone’s eyes. Without barely any preparation, Gu Hai went straight to the point to approach the highlight. He had never taken this as a game, to begin with. He just simply thought that as long as he can break through this intrusive object, he can enter Bai Luoyin’s body. That alone was gave him all the strength to engage at full force!!
With strong vibrations produced from his waist accompanied with loud and clear impacts that became increasingly intense, a few scattered specks of cracks connected to form a line or even a surface. Gu Hai’s technique was comparatively better than Bai Luoyin’s, attacking from the front and rear while slapping with one hand and then the other, in quick succession with different degree of depth…since he had successfully invaded that solid gluey material, he did not withdraw and instead ‘penetrated’ deeper, little by little.
Even the outstandingly bold and powerful Zhou Lingyun could not help but lament at this very moment. It’s great to be young!!
Tong Zhe glanced to the side, Yan Yajing was staring blankly in admiration.
He coughed lightly, “Are you regretting it?”
Yan Yajing returned to her senses and asked subconsciously, “Regret what?”
Tong Zhe gave a perfunctory reply, “Regret not having drugged him back then! Even if you cannot get him, spending a night with such man would have been deserving of a virgin like you.”
‘Virgin’, Tong Zhe emphasized the word greatly.
Everyone’s eyes simultaneously shifted to look at Yan Yajing as if she was a national treasure. Sister, you’re a virgin? I can’t even tell at all!
That flushed face of Yan Yajing was as red as a large ripened persimmon after autumn.
To the side, You Qi recorded while mumbling to himself. “I finally figured out who is the top and who is the bottom between the two of them.”
Yang Meng leaned toward You Qi while wearing a gossipy expression.
“How can you tell?”
You Qi showed half face of his face to Yang Meng. “How can you not tell when it’s so obvious like this?”
Before Yang Meng could say anything, Liu Chong pulled him over.
“Are you two talking about?”
Yang Meng shot You Qi a despicable glance and then whispered to Liu Chong. “He was shooting off his mouth to me just now, saying that he can tell who is top and who is bottom between Bai Luoyin and Gu Hai.”
Liu Chong was amazed, “How can he tell?”
Hearing that, Yang Meng slapped the person beside him. “See! I was right, wasn’t I? You can’t tell at all!”
You Qi’s shoulder was askew, almost making him along with the video camera to flip over on the floor.
By now, Gu Hai had already poked a huge hole and was starting to advance toward Bai Luoyin’s butt. However, the further he went, the more solid the gluey material became. Although the tip of the galvanized sheath he wore was sharp, it could not endure being sandwiched like that. The others reminded Gu Hai to shout out the catchphrase since Gu Hai had nearly forgot.
He shouted on the spot: “Is it in?”
Bai Luoyin strenuously squeezed out that obscene sentence. “Laogong…thrust hard…er…”
As soon as those five syllables were blurted out, Gu Hai became instantly energetic. As his stone-like eyes flashed with a fierce brilliance, his two large hands that were bond on Bai Luoyin’s waist were bursting with blue veins. His two long and powerful legs were akin to stable machine gun rest and the ‘rod’ above was a veritable ‘machine gun’, not just in alone, but also in reality—its shooting speed and power were both top-quality.
The room burst into a spell of vulgar cheers when Gu Hai’s sexy profile unearth its charming yet elegant nature.
Seeing as it was about to break through with only a layer of colloid material remaining, Gu Hai deliberately showed a lack of physical strength while sweating a river. He gasped chaotically and asked intermittently, “Is it in?… is it in yet?”
For the sake of quickly getting through this segment without any other delay as well as to encourage Gu Hai, Bai Luoyin kept mouthing: “Laogong, thrust harder.”
Every time he heard that, Gu Hai’s body would immediately be filled with energy that made everyone clap their hands and cheer repeatedly.
It feels so freaking good! Gu Hai had already ignored the searing pain of thrusting into the hard object. His head was packed with only the words that Bai Luoyin has shouted out.
If every time he can be this hot and lewd in bed without needing to be forced, it would be amazing.
Just as he was fantasizing, he heard a pop sound—the solid gluey material had been penetrated thoroughly.
When the hand that You Qi used to hold the video camera started to tremble, he could not help but sigh. “His ‘goods’ is just too strong.”
Yang Meng was unconvinced, “Is that thing that hard? It felt quite soft when I pinched it.”
Gu Yang took out a spare of the thing sitting to the side and threw it over to Yang Meng. Yang Meng tried on that galvanized sheath. When You Qi wanted to stop him, it was already too late. Yang Meng had only ruthlessly smacked the surface once and what followed was a sound similar to the cries of a rooster. The blood on Yang Meng’s face was completely drained all of sudden and he fell to the ground unconscious.
After a long while, everyone was finally able to wake up the Yang Meng who had suffered from sheer shock.
The third game was even more damaging. Titled ‘A Dead Loss’[1] the rules were as such: one person’s ‘little brother’ needed to have a double firecracker with a fairly long wick fastened to it while the back of the other person’s hand will be plastered with glue; once the glue dried up, it will adhere to the skin. After the game start, the wick will be lit and the person with the glue will have to completely clean it all off his hand before he can extinguish the wick. If the wick was to burn to the end and the other person had yet to clean the glue, then as the name of the game suggest…
The metaphorical meaning of this game was that only when all external distracting thoughts are eliminated can one effectively removed the psychological crisis of their other half. In doing that, the mind and body can both be at its purest and brightest when the time came to spend their wedding night together.
Putting it like that sounded pleasant, but in reality, it was meant to torment them.
The dangerous mission was to be executed by Gu Hai while the technical skills were to be maneuvered by Bai Luoyin.
“Start!”
As Bai Luoyin’s keen eyes observed the speed at which the spark climbed up the wick, he realized that in less than two minutes, Gu Hai will undoubtedly ‘fly like a chicken with his broken eggs’; in other words, be at ‘a dead loss’. He must remove the glue on his hands with that two minutes. He could not use acetone since they did not have any in the house and even if they did, it would take between five to ten minutes for it to take effect—there was just not enough time.
When he saw that the sparks had leaped up to one-third of the wick already, Bai Luoyin finally expressed his nervousness and concern for Xiao Hai Zi.
He thought of a way and quickly snatched the glue from Liu Chong’s hand. After that, he poured it onto the dry glue that was on his hand which allowed it to soften up before he dashed to the kitchen to wash his hands.
Unfortunately, he was one step too late. Just as he turned on the faucet, the glue dried up to create another layer.
“The wick has burnt halfway!” Tong Zhe reminded with ill-intent.
Bai Luoyin poured the glue on his hand once more and they quickly washed it. This time, he was faster, but they were still not clean enough. When another reminder sounded from the other room, Bai Luoyin was actually anxious as he poured a ton of glue on his hands again and began to frantically scrub under the running water. Can you imagine how hard a person must be washing his hands for the water to splash everywhere, even wetting his hair? This spirited action betrayed two of Bai Luoyin’s pronounced attributes. One was the poor ability in caring for himself and two was his love for Xiao Hai Zi as if it was his own life!
Finally, with the glue on his hands completely removed, Bai Luoyin suddenly pounced on Gu Hai’s crotch at the speed of light.
With the sparks less than a distance of ten centimeters from Xiao Hai Zi, Bai Luoyin thrillingly nicked the wick in time.
Just like that, the sparks scattered in front of his eyes.
That was a close call! Bai Luoyin patted his own chest.
Soon, he realized that everyone in the room was laughing—including Gu Hai.
As it turns out, the double firecracker fastened to Gu Hai’s crotch and the wick lying on the floor was never connected to begin with.
With a fiendlike mannerism, Bai Luoyin returned to the kitchen then carried out a bucket of water and splashed it at the people in the room. Unfortunately, no matter how he messed with them, it was useless at this time since even if they were in a difficult situation, it was impossible to hide the fact that Bai Luoyin was completely drenched. The image of him spiritedly washing his hands had been carved deeply in everyone’s mind. Since then, they finally understood what an ‘outwardly cold or retiring but deep and passionate inside’ man was like.
“Hahahaha…”
After he had laughed enough, Gu Yang went to stand in front of Bai Luoyin while holding a bottle of “glue” in his hand.
“Actually, this isn’t glue but a type of gel that removes scars. Once you apply it on for one minute, you can just peel it off. This is a high-end skincare product that my company produces, and it is very effective on all sorts of scars. You can give it a try on your whole hand.” After he said that, he shoved it in Bai Luoyin’s hands, “Take it as my gift wedding to you.”
Zhou Lingyun also went over and patted Bai Luoyin’s shoulder. “Seeing your performance just now, as your mentor, I feel relieved to let your two enter the bridal chamber. Hahaha…”
“That’s right, we’ll be leaving now!”
“We won’t hold you up any longer.”
“You married couple should just seize the moment and get down to the real business!
Amidst the chatter and laughter, all seven people left—leaving the once lively room instantly in peace.
[1] 雞飛蛋打 (jīfēidàndǎ) – the chicken has flown the coop and the eggs are broken / a dead loss (idiom)
luo.ye.hua 